Day 211: Robot Hitman

Just to be clear, sometimes I don't even know what the fuck is going on...

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No one thought giving robots the right to override the Three Laws was a good idea, but we did it anyway.  Robots had become self-aware, conscientious (mostly), productive members of society.  They had their own rights.  Being able to make any and all decisions was one of those rights.  No one expected robots to become hit men.

The most disturbing thing about a robot hitman is that they don't necessarily need any weapons.  Most of them are equipped with a mouth (only because humans are vain) and they usually have hands, claws, or grippers.  That's all they need.  They can apply 20,000 lbs of pressure in their grip alone, enough to kill any human.

The early cases of murder by robot were a little confusing for investigators.  Pieces of people strewn about, body parts mangled beyond comprehension, sometimes just a pile of meat that used to be a person.  Eventually the cause was deduced and everyone was afraid.

Lyrics:
This robot hand is gonna crush your skull tonight.  
This robot mouth is gonna eat your face today.
These robot wings will fly. 
These robot feet will jump.  
What can you offer to me?

What can you offer to me?

Day 167: Inspired by the Unseen

The invasion had finally reached land.  They started on the coast and began moving inland.  Every continent at the same time.  The fly-over states were the last ones to go.  We had been hiding in our bunker for days, waiting for the explosions to begin.  When they finally did we ran outside.  Idiots.  We did the last thing you're supposed to do, but of course we wanted to see the aliens.  It turned out to be a pretty good thing that we ran out since our bunker got blown up about ten seconds after we ran out of it.  I turned and looked at my dad, helpless.

"The airport!" he said, and we both took off toward the car.  He didn't make it.  They shot him in the back.  I'd say it was a terrible way to die, but actually it was preferable to slavery and eventual consumption by the invading hordes.

We didn't believe that was what they were doing for awhile, but eventually someone stumbled on their throwaways.  A pit of body parts and half-eaten limbs.  In some cases there were heads with collars still attached to the necks.  The alien tech was so advanced that we couldn't begin to crack even their most basic design, but their collars, what seemed to be a simple radio transmission system of tracking and controls, was too advanced for us to understand.

We didn't stand a chance.

Day 162: Epic

The setting sun cast a wash of brown and yellow hues into the sky.  Unit J45s-889 pulled his distance

viewer up again but nothing had changed.  The black hole fusion reactor was approaching critical mass at the same speed it had been for the last 56 days, only now it was down to 3 hours remaining.  He tried to push his light bike up another notch and move faster, he had already maxed it out.  He was burning heavy water at five times the normal rate.  The bike would be ruined, but if he didn't get there sooner then the entire planet wouldn't be habitable by dinnertime.






Images from RaceCarsAndRobots.com

Day 159: Kraftwerk, this one's for you

My android and I had been together for years.  In the spring of 2276 she got an upgrade that allowed her to communicate over sub-space frequencies with other machines in the far reaches of the galaxy.  I noticed her behavior started to change within the first few days.

A week later she was doing my taxes and suddenly stood up.  She looked at me and said "I'm leaving you."  Then she walked out the door.  I never saw her again.

Day 158: On an alien planet, making weapons

The sound of the dretlk factory is not like any other.  Everyone there is a slave, but everyone is also content with their work.  As a GHYTU there’s no point in being obsessed with freedom or free will.  We will all be slaves to the YUToU.  Some of us may be lucky enough to be house slaves and live in relative comfort, not the squalor of a dretlk factory, but slaves all the same.  I count myself as one of the lucky ones.  I was born in the factory.  On the factory floor, actually.  My mother put me inside her droa and went back to work.  Luckily her shift was almost over.  I wouldn’t have survived the whole 26 hour work day.  She was able to keep me alive by playing on the pity of other slaves and also by killing as many fiudor parasites as possible.  Living her in the factory has been acceptable for me and on some days, when the work is light, I’m almost happy and hear a certain music in the sounds of the machines and the people’s hands working them.

Day 156: Superhero, with Corporate Sponsorship

I was standing at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change so I could cross.  My audiostream was playing Johnny Zhivago's new album NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW and my video feed was playing something from PBS-MSNBC.  Another subway shooting in Tokyo blah, blah, blah, blah... The light changed and I was about to step off the curb when CRASH! two commuter buses hit each other head on fifteen feet in front of me.  I was a little dumbfounded and just stood there for a moment as they both burst into flames, then my audiostream was interrupted and I snapped out of my daze.  At first I thought I was listening to the theme from Sunday/Monday Night/Morning Football and then realized it was something different.

There was a streak in the sky, like a flash of light and then the music in my audiostream swelled and Captain Mondo was standing in front of me.  I'd heard of him and watched his videos, but never seen him in person.  He bore a large "M" on his chest along with the brand for Monsanto-McDonald's-Google on each enormous shoulder.  My audiostream went silent as he used his SuperCoolBreath™to put out the fires.  My videofeed started autoposting links to his previous feats that had been caught on tape along with ads for McDonald's ("Trillions Pleased"™) and Monsanto ("We Make Your Life Fuller"™). He tore the side off of one of the commuter buses and dashed back and forth, depositing commuters on the sidewalk.  Seconds later he had done the same to the second bus and there were two dozen dazed and slightly injured people standing or sitting on the sidewalk, unsure of what had just happened.  I realized that somehow my videofeed had been recording this.  I knew I had never sent a command, but something or someone had auto-triggered it.  The security was supposedly unbreakable as it was connected to your DNA sequence.  It was said that only the root user could send and receive commands... of course, everything can be hacked if you know how.

The whole episode must have been over with in under a minute.  Then the Captain turned to the crowd and I heard him with my real ears and in my audiofeed.  His words also scrolled across the bottom of my videofeed as he spoke them.

"THIS ACT OF HEROISM BROUGHT TO YOU BY MONSANTO-MCDONALD'S-GOOGLE! WE MAKE YOUR LIFE FULLER THRU ANALYTICS AND GREAT FOOD!™  HAVE A GREAT DAY CITIZENS!"

He took off into the sky and that was it.  These genetically modified superheroes are really something.  Maybe someday someone will make one without corporate sponsorship.

Day 155: At the Concert, I Think Someone Gave Me Something

We were all very excited to be going to the show.  There were 8 of us in all and, even though we had to ride the subway there, couldn't wait to be free of our parents.  Everyone made an agreement to turn off all their implants and trackers (yes, we know how to turn off our trackers and multiple GPS devices - don't tell the 'rents).

Souxsie said "Are you thirsty?" before we got in and, not knowing this was code for Slippery Wickets, drank whatever she had.  It tasted like soda to me, but immediately after she said "Are you ready for this?" and I was like "Ummm, yeah, I think it's going to be a good show."

The opening act was decent.  Some retro punk girl flanked by two robot sidemen.  The robots were actually more interesting to watch as they played drums, guitar, keys, and samples simultaneously.  Of course, she could have just run a track straight from an audio stream implant, but where's the fun in that?  If you have the money hire two robots to create a rhythm section then why not do it?

Right as the opener was wrapping up I started feeling a little strange.  The lights were getting brighter and brighter and I was losing my balance.  I noticed Souxsie sitting down next to the wall and went over to her to talk.  Her head was hanging down, but when she brought it up it seemed like it took her an hour to raise her head all the way up.  Her dreadlocks seemed to be weaving around her face like snakes and when I looked at her eyes I saw light running out of them, tears of light.  I started to panic, but she said "Don't worry, it's going to be ok," and held me in her arms.  I'd never felt a connection so powerful or so loving.  It was like being in the arms of my own mother and God at the same time.  We sat there, uninterrupted for the next three hours.  By the time the concert was over the Wickets had worn off, but I was forever changed.

Day 152: Tales from the Future

I check the calendar and realize my Socializer implants are almost out of juice.  It's a two hour walk to the charging station... or ten minutes on the subway.  I can take the constant advertisements and the gene-specific sexual encounter fantasy holograms, but the people.  I don't know if I can take the people.  The dregs of society.  I think about walking again, but remember the report of a feral dog pack somewhere in the area.  Best to avoid getting ripped to pieces, I already have too many implants as it is.

I make my way down the stairs and put on my kevlar overcoat as I go.  The UV rating is low today, but I remember to pack my ocular filters just in case.  I strap a breathing film over my nose and mouth and step out into the grime.  The sun is almost visible thru the fog today, but I better keep the filter on, I don't want to get contaminated by some hobo with technecrofilia.

Lyrics:
This infernal machine takes me where I want to go.
Riding along with the girls and the boys,
With their retro dogs and their retro toys.
Hurry up and get there.

A man sits next to me and his machine arm is malfunctioning.
He tries to tell me about it thru my audio stream.
I tell him I don't speak cyborg, please go away.

The party girls and the party boys all hyped up on their super juices,
Their neon outfits offend me so I turn on filters to get it away.

At last I'm at my stop.
I can't climb to the top of this pile of rats,
pile of garbage in this city that we live.